The Crossroads, Again?

I shouldn’t be @the crossroads after ‘8 years in spiritual awakening’ but when your 'destiny = 9', you often wonder if the universe is on your side?

https://trustedpsychicmediums.com/numerology/life-path-number-9-guide/

I find myself asking the same question again and again ‘What happened? Where did life go?’ If your life is anything like mine born with ‘life path '3' of no standard 9-5 job to (day of birth 29th) a short career, late marriage break up, ‘family enmeshment’, spiritual awakening and ‘preset destiny 9’', your life is going to be hell of a ride. And, finally, when you get to ‘destiny 9’ as defined in the ‘pseudoscience’, the universe once again throws a ‘curve ball’ @you (or it feels like that)🤣

I had ‘spiritual awakening’ through 'repeat aka (angel) numbers' in Nov’ 2017 just as I decided to leave for California for the 2nd time. My 1st move to California was little over 2 decades ago. It was not my choice! It happened so that 'Family Enmeshment' could stay in my life. I’ve shared my life story in ‘gory' details in other blogs. I won't repeat all that here. I have also written blogs on 'Family Enmeshment' and its devastating effects on ‘family tree’.

I have spent past ‘8’ years in 'spirituality'. It's starting to feel like ‘building life around job/ career' was my goal only. This wasn't the universe plan! The universe was probably more interested in multiple endings and closings (sign of destiny '9').

I was born on March 29th (Aries) with 'Life Path 3 and destiny 3'. Shortly after birth, I went through a ‘name change’. This ‘name change’ was done in consultations with 'spiritual leader'. Name change meant a new destiny ‘9 (or 3/9)'. Life Path '3 = creative communication' while 'destiny 3 = to inspire, motivate, heal and uplift people'. Destiny '9 stands for 'to reach hire state of consciousness and help others achieve 'spiritual awareness''.

Life Path 3 = no standard job/career. Destiny 9 = multiple endings and closings, 'family enmeshment', destiny, Karma, light-work etc. This website is result of my 'spiritual awakening'. It's my 'lightwork'!

As part of 'awakening', I ventured into the world of astrology and numerology. I was surprised to see how pseudoscience explained my life better than 'my own thoughts and actions'. My life, so far, has been going from one thing to another for 7 (7) year cycles (please refer to 'cycles of life' under 'life purpose section of this website). What has really surprised me is the past ‘8’ years following 'awakening'!

After ‘spiritual awakening’ in Nov' 2017, I did what my 'spiritual awakening' asked me to do. I aligned my thoughts with the thoughts of the universe. I followed the signs with a ‘new cycle on a new path and heart based service'. My life should have changed! In stead, ‘8’ years later nothing drastic has happened. I can think of (3) distinct possibilities in the ‘6’ years where my life might have changed. The doors were shut the moment I decided to go for them.

Surprisingly, I feel better today than 8 years ago @the start of awakening in 2017 (feel high as result of ‘spiritual awakening’) or 2012 when my life began to unravel. I see same numbers today albeit with lot less frequency. They still point to ‘continuing on the current path’, choice of alignment with the divine, a fresh start and a 'heart based service'. I've already done that! I made the changes in accordance with my ‘awakening' but nothing major happened in '8 years' while ‘Family Enmeshment’ has continued the same.

Cycles Of Life And Human Energy Centers:

I learnt from spiritual awakening' that 'thoughts create reality and actions have consequences' but universe already knew it. The universe knows about the 'cycles of life and energy centers' as listed under ‘life purpose’ section of this website. I have not defined any of it! I didn’t know anything about ‘life path, destiny or soul purpose’. I have learnt it all as part of 'spiritual awakening’. I have lived my life ‘head connected with the heart’ (as most people do!). Yet, my life went 'berserk' as defined by ‘palmistry and numerology’. I call this 'Fate'.

It makes me wonder if universe with ability to read thoughts 'keeps things as per its own plan' at the cost of neglecting ‘human thoughts and actions'? This would explain ‘my life’ to this day.

I have tried to create ‘my reality based on the desires of the heart’ for over (2) decades. I was unsuccessful as it didn’t go according to the plan of the universe! Based on ‘spirituality’ as explained today, I can't ‘go back’ as ‘this is a misalignment of thoughts from the heart and the universe’ as well as everything explained in numerology. I am being asked to ‘start over’ again! What exactly can I do when I have already tried the ‘traditional career path’ approach for over (2) decades and ‘path of spirituality’ for past 8 years?

All of my siblings are single. It feels I am bound in this family via ‘Family Enmeshment’. My mind believes 'FE' as the sole reason for my life as it exists today while 'spirituality’ seems to point to ‘endless start overs’. My mind is not interested in either of them! My friends and colleagues are about to turn into grand parents and universe is pointing me to ‘start over on a new path’ (😊) despite my best efforts to ‘not end up like this’. Is it time for 'change' again?

The universe doesn't want me to 'go back to California'. I don't disagree with it but at the same time no interesting doors have opened to me in the New England in last ‘8’ years? It feels like a punishment. I’ve fallen ‘3’ decades behind from everyone for no fault in this life (may be these are sins from a previous life. My ‘karmic debt’ is 0)!

When you work in corporate world, personal and/or company performance gets measured on a quarterly basis. I am an educated person with Bachelor’s and MS level degrees in physics and computer science. If I don’t hold a good job, how am I expected to build family or fund home? More importantly, how do I explain 13 years of gap in employment or so much loss of time/money and life?

Most people try to build life by 'looking inside'. Life to me is

(1) Choice of work

(2) Person you merry

(3) Place you call home

No one picks a profession in a field they don't like. No one marries a person they don't love and no one lives in a 'place' they don't like. Everyone wants everything, yet, things 'go wrong' (wrong job, wrong career, wrong marriage, family issues etc.) Every time things go wrong, people have to make a 'choice'. 'Spirituality' has educated me on countless wonderful things of life but sometimes 'time runs out on you!'

Things operate different in 'spiritual world'...

Time is relative!

It'll happens @the right time!

I have noticed people laugh @me. These are the directors, vice presidents and founders of high tech companies in the Boston area. Having worked both in silicon valley (California) and Boston, I speak through experience when I say ‘always work for people who are smarter than you’. Never work for ‘the insecure type’ who lack skillsets for the job.

Layoffs are part of everyday life. Life has taught me ‘Type ‘A’ talent knows Type ‘A’s’. Type ‘C’ knows Type ‘C’s’. Boston high tech product development talent @best can be classified as ‘Type C or F (failure)'. What (hardware or software) do you use that's built in Boston? Smart people value what smart people bring to the table. Insecure types build career by destroying others (career/life)!

The Chosen Ones:

If you are ‘the chosen ones’, your life is split in two halves ‘pre spiritual awakening and post spiritual awakening’. Your life will feel like crucifixion. Awakening will help clarify things but ‘awakening’ itself is not an easy process. By the time you figure all out, you will be in the 40s or 50s.

Starting life over in the 40s or 50s is not easy! You are too old to go to college. ‘The chosen ones’, in general, are financially challenged (no money for business). ‘Spiritual Path (heart based service)’ will make sense. Supporting yourself and/or family around ‘heart based service’ will take time and income can be unpredictable. This is exactly why so many ‘spiritual people’ disappear quietly!

My advice to all ‘chosen ones’ will be to not give up on life. In stead, find your way back into it! I know what it's like to be constantly monitored by ‘someone (reading thoughts)'. Life is not easy ‘chosen or not!’. Quitting is not the answer! To be ‘spiritual’ doesn't always translate moving deep into mountains, living alone and practice spirituality. Many people live ‘normal life while practicing spirituality’.

I have been through a lot (like many chosen ones). I have seen what people do (family, friends and coworkers). I am glad I am not ‘one’ of them. I am just surprised @spirituality. The universe knows what I was put through. It is still protecting ‘the wrongdoers’ and thinks I can start over again and build life @my age?🤔. Irrespective of what has happened, I have never wished anything 'bad' upon anyone. I, simply, want a 'way out'.

‘Spiritual awakening’ needs an overhaul! I have seen what it does to people. Some never come out of it. Losing 6-12 months in confusion/ frustration is ok. Losing 3-5-10 years or an entire life is too much. Goal of ‘spiritual awakening’ should be 'universe creating a way out in the end and not game of limbo’.

Final Comments:

We are a result of ‘our thoughts, actions and experiences’. Experiences come from personal thoughts. They can also be result of others thoughts/ experiences. To create better world, we need to work on both. While humans can work on personal thoughts as ‘thoughts create reality’, the universe could work on 'human real life experiences' through better set of soul experience. I consider ‘8’ years long enough time for the universe and its subjects to resolve any life issues (spiritual or not!). If your calling is to be ‘spiritual leader’ (alone destiny ‘9’) then that's different.

'Spiritual Awakening' simplifies things for the mind that it does not control everything. Mind, in turn, fights back with own arguments as it refuses to relinquish control😎👍

My 'awakening’ has helped me heal some of the deep wounds. ‘Healing’ is not linear. It takes time. Some wounds never heal. You still have to move on! My life didn’t go as planned (story of most chosen ones and many others). It is what it is! 'We don’t always get what we want’! Life is all about adjustments and forward movement. I am looking @my options today and none are easy😂😂

I am thankful for ‘spiritual awakening’. It's a 'great teacher' of life! It will always be a part of my life irrespective of what I decide to do. 'Spiritual awakening' offers individuals and the universe an opportunity to write off ‘tons of bad Karma’. I feel ‘universe’ is about to squander a great opportunity with me.

In spiritual world, things take time. You will need lots of patience. During ‘spiritual awakening’, you’ll go through lots of material on the internet. Internet serves as great source of info. from ‘angel numbers to inspirational videos’. Go through it. The answer, though, will come from ‘inside’ you. It is possible ‘Destiny 9 and family enmeshment' get intertwined badly & separation may not be easy.

You'll have to decide if you choose to

(A) Surrender

(B) Do something about it

'Stillwater' movie clip (Daughter is wrongly accused of a crime she did not commit)

Father 'fights back' and brings her home..

I know through 'angel numerology' that the universe can read human thoughts but not vice versa. In my experience, universe reserves ‘the right to change its mind’. We have 'Free Will, and yet, someone else controls the ultimate reality’. That's why so many people choose to 'surrender' to it.

The mystery of angel numbers is they appear to some and not all. The conclusions arrived by the 'angel numbers (destiny)’ is not mystery as they are written and defined by ‘psychics’. I have new grown respect for the numerologists , astrologers and the psychics of the world but they are not God or the universe. They have come close to reading the universe mind but universe holds the ultimate authority.

'Spiritual awakening' is a difficult process! The ‘chosen ones’ have a hard life! Whatever you choose to do but don't become a 'life lost'! ‘Awakening’ goes through past, present and future. It’s a roller coaster ride in extreme emotions. It works like high dose of adrenaline. You come out of it in high spirits but then realize you've been left behind by decades. Now, you have to play catch up with rest of the world. You know you are beginning to come out as you start spending less time thinking about the past and start focusing on the future.

You have to find way through ‘spiritual awakening’ OR You will stay in it! Most people accept 'spiritual awakening solutions’ as shown in the media as the answer. What if the answers lay outside?

This brings me to a bizarre 'intersection' in life! When I started work on this website, it seemed like the universe was pointing me to 'path of spirituality as path of heart had failed me and path of the head led to an unfulfilled life (California).' 'Eight’ years later and ‘3’ good opportunities lost, it feels 'the universe reads my thoughts. It makes sure they don't manifest'!

I had a plan for life. I have always had plan for life. I am beginning to wonder if the universe 'has a plan for my life’ as I am starting to see 'angel number 123' again.