Decluttering: Unconventional Spiritual Awakening!
- 2 days ago
- 9 min read
I am beginning to see 'repeat number 123' again. My mind doesn't understand it🤔 My mind would like to know why 'the last 123 from 8 1/2 years ago' didn't work out. My mind had picked 'spiritual path/ destiny as future path'. This combined with (1) of the (3) missed opportunities would have solved this problem. My mind thinks 'root cause for life being the way it is spiritual family enmeshment’. I was born with it. It's part of 'my destiny'.
'Life post spiritual awakening' is supposed to fall in place (co-creation with the universe) if the person does what is asked of them. This did not happen for me. Life after 8 1/2 years is same as 'pre awakening'? I wonder if universe thinks in terms of time, money or life? I am not upset but I'd love to discuss 'face to face' with someone from the universe to understand 'the workings of it'?
My ‘awakening’ feels a bit unconventional. Although my life ‘pre spiritual awakening’ went per predictions of palm reader, astrology and numerology, life ‘post awakening’ hasn't conformed to the predictions. Some may argue this as ‘limitation' on the part of my mind as my mind doesn't agree with 'any career/ any life option'. Not everyone can do everything.
I went for my desired life. I have always had 'plan for life' (right career, right place (to call home) and right life). My ‘day of birth, life path and destiny' foretell a different story.
My whole life feels like 'fresh starts' (life path /destiny 3(9)). It takes years to build career or find right life partner. If forward momentum is killed every few years, it may take person long time before they build anything again. Worse, they may give up after many unsuccessful attempts.
My ‘day of birth, life path and destiny predict a struggling life'. It goes with ‘lines on the palm of my hand’. We don't control 'day of birth, life path, destiny, spiritual awakening or family enmeshment'. If these variables end up defining life in stead of education and skillsets, you may end up going nowhere compared to 'rest of the population'.
My ‘day of birth’ alludes to connections with divine forces. I began to see 'repeat numbers (Angel numbers) @the end of Nov' 2017. Most people are unaware of their destiny unless something happens to them and they realize it. This is where ‘spiritual awakening’ comes into play. ‘Spiritual awakening’ is confusing and frustrating. Try to limit confusion to a minimum. A confused mind leads to nothing.
After ‘awakening’ I spent serious time in numerology and astrology. I'd advise people to limit time in them. They are amazing fields. Psychic predictions deserve admiration but 'future is hard to predict’. Psychics lay down global parameters (or limitations/ restrictions and opportunities) of a life but you may have to figure out how to create a ‘win' situation for yourself. Sometimes, answers happen to fall in place. Other times, you can try 'process of elimination' to arrive @the right answer.
I am very thankful for 'spiritual awakening'. The outcome, so far, may be unexpected but it has helped me in many ways
Healing
Explain what had happened
Help get rid of ‘bad energy’
Restore 'balance' into the life
Fill life with ‘enthusiasm and optimism’
Return ‘passion for life’
I learnt through spirituality, ’thoughts create reality. Actions have consequences (law of karma). Life is what we create. It's an extension of ourselves. We do this by looking inside. Unless we are happy/ balanced on the inside, we won't be happy to the outside world'
I believe most people try to build their desired life (people don't stay in careers they don't like. They don't live in places they don't like or merry the wrong person). Yet, things don't always go 'as planned'.
There’s lot of good in this world despite pain, suffering and sorrow. Not everyone has perfect life. When people don't get everything, they have to make choices. A ‘perfect life’ is hard to achieve but imperfection should not lead to unhappiness.
The Chosen Ones:
Psychics believe 'life is predetermined'. I agree with them based on my life experience (some people would disagree). I also believe predicting everything with 100% accuracy is nearly impossible.
The chosen ones (life with 'higher purpose') have hard life. Their life is divided in (2) parts (life before ‘spiritual awakening’ and life after 'awakening'). Life before 'awakening' is very challenging. ‘Chosen ones' come from tough families. They suffer financial hardships to bad relationships (friends/ family/coworkers). They get mistreated a lot. What is done to them feels like total sickness. They may experience 'spiritual awakening'. Their life begins @40.
Social media urges them to 'not look for jobs, use their gifts and pursue destiny'. I have covered all this in a blog on 'the life of chosen ones'. It's not fun. Lots of ‘the chosen ones’ opt to remain single.
I came across this video few days back. It tells us to 'look beyond limitations of birth' and to never give up on trying 'newer things'.
I tried to create ‘balanced life on the path of heart for over (2) decades with 9-5 job/career'. I was unsuccessful despite best intentions and efforts. It’s understandable because my 'day of birth and life path (3)' do not support 9-5 job/ career. My 'awakening' convinced me to 'not take the path of head' as it led to an unbalanced (/unfulfilled) life. In stead, 'take risk and start-over on a new path' and venture into 'spiritual world'. 8 1/2 years later and (3) life changing opportunities lost, I find myself scratching my head for the answers. Where do you go from here? The only thing that has stayed same is 'Family Enmeshment' (I’ve written a blog on it).
In short, ‘FE' is a dysfunctional dynamic where interpersonal boundaries between family members are blurred or nonexistent. In these families, individual identities are entangled, and members often feel responsible for each other’s emotions and well-being. It makes true privacy, independence and healthy boundary-setting incredibly difficult. While enmeshed families often appear outwardly 'close,' the closeness is fueled by guilt and obligation rather than mutual respect. Understanding the warning signs can help you identify and navigate this dynamic. I didn't understand 'FE until my awakening'. It has ended up defining my entire life. Now, it’s threatening to take over the rest of my life and reshape the next generation.
‘Family Enmeshment' is an 'extreme form of attachment'. This video talks about 'living life without attachment'.
Psychics/ social media talk about 'distancing /healthy separation from family'. Every time I tried to break out of it, someone intercepted it. Breaking away from your birth family may not be easy. Spirituality explains birth family is not a random event. Soul picks family for reasons. Your mother, father, brother or sister may be your ‘karma or karmic debt’. There could be soul contracts involved here.
Is it possible 'Fate takes person on a ride, wipes out decades of life and then points to a destiny based on attachment'? Or ‘Family Enmeshment’ is that hard to break?
If you pick ‘spiritual path’, you will be able to explain lot of things through your own life experiences. Do you
(a) Become spiritual teacher. Wait for things to fall in place. If they don’t, assume they weren't meant to
(b) Continue on the current (spiritual path) and go for another fresh start?
(c) Stay spiritual and go back to old life
(d) Stay spiritual and accept 'FE an application of the destiny'.
It's quite normal to feel tired after 'spiritual awakening'. Some people don't see 'clear path forward’, they choose to surrender or disappear.
Others may return to a 'normal life' after stages of 'separation and transformation'...
Spiritual Awakening:
There's no set time for 'spiritual awakening'. I'd say ideal time for 'awakening is the end of 5th cycle of life' (if you need more information, pls. read article 'cycles of life under life purpose' section of this website). By age 35, person is supposed to have put life together (marriage, kids and home). Anything can happen anytime but 'there's right time for everything'. If you don't have life together by 35, you may encounter problems later in life. That's why 'awakening' needs to happen by 35 (life of 'the chosen ones' begins @40). There's still time to build a career/ life with retirement age of 67.
My story is a little different. I did everything right in the 20s and 30s but 'universe seems to take me out on a ride because destiny 9 = old soul = spiritual path (no standard 9-5 job)'. Also, 'destiny 9 = family enmeshment'. The universe wanted 'FE' to stay longer in my life w/o my knowing it. My 'awakening' coincided with my 2nd move to California / misalignment of heart from mind. I needed to 'calm down and heal’ from the loss suffered in previous cycle of life.
This is where twist comes in. I listened to my 'awakening'. I let previous life go. Started 'new life on new paths(s) (new career and spiritual website)'. My life should have changed in 2019, 2022 and 2025. In stead, it became new '123' in 2026. This is puzzling. A new ‘123 = new start = new soul experience’ makes sense if my life is ‘new start after new starts’. I am done with that.
If 'spiritual awakening' is delayed into late 40s or 50s, it may a hold different meaning. By that time, standard college related career options are gone. Starting business requires capitol that 'chosen one' don't have (they are broke. They have no friends. They come from difficult families). 'Spiritual path' makes sense but it may not always 'lead to the life they had imagined pre spiritual awakening'. 'Destiny does not always mean 'heart based service' or as defined by numerology'. It could be as simple as helping someone.
Final Comments:
We don't control time. We may not always control 'the final outcome' but we choose how to spend time.
I wonder if world is the way it is because universe and humans want it this way? They have the power to change it. It all starts with 'thoughts and experiences'. If humans learn to master their thoughts, they can help create better life experiences for everyone including themselves. The ‘universe’ can help ‘generate better human thoughts through more gentle soul experiences'. I wish there was a way to speed up ‘spiritual process’ so one doesn’t spend 8 1-2 years trying to figure it all out😁
My mind is done with ‘fresh starts’, ‘Family Enmeshment’ and time already wasted. I would like to end this blog with couple of personal stories.
My best friend died 3 years ago. He was spiritual. He was experiencing chest pain in his last days. He went to see his spiritual teacher. The teacher told him to rest. My friend died couple of days later of heart attack. If I look for answer in spirituality, it'll probably tell me his time had come. No doctor could have saved him. Lesson: Visit a doctor if you have chest pain. It may be true his time had come but visit a doctor.
I am glad for the time spent in New England and I am thankful for ‘spiritual awakening’
I was in New England before I got moved to California in 1998. I returned back to NE (4) years later. I came back because I had a ‘plan for life’. My plans didn't come true despite ‘thoughts perfectly aligned with the heart’. I had ‘spiritual awakening’ in 2017 as I decided to leave for California for the 2nd time in order to save career. ‘Awakening’ explained to me I was never built for ‘9-5 job’ life. I followed its advice and 8 1/2 years later with (3) life changing opportunities lost, I am being asked to ‘start over'again. This does not make sense unless ‘universe sees my life as constant fresh starts wth family enmeshment intact’.
I have lost close to (3) decades of life (2026 - 1998 =28). I had shot @my ‘desired life’ in New England (5) times and all (5) opportunities were taken away. Lesson: When you want something in life, go for it but work with ‘set time limits’. If it doesn’t work out, move on. Try different things even if you are not meant to get them in the life.
Things go wrong because
(a) The person may make mistake(s) or
(b) People around make mistake(s) or
(c) Fate or
(d) It could be a combination of all above
‘Spiritual awakening’ changes you. You understand universe is very powerful. It reads thoughts. It can ‘limit you to its plan’.
I am very thankful for life but when I look @astrology/numerology version of my life, there’s not much there. How do you turn life around? Or can you even do it? The ‘chosen ones’ don’t have much control of life. While some may choose to create ‘heart based service and/or you tube videos’, others quietly disappear. Some might choose to take another shot @life.
Destiny = 9 means universe is against you. That’s why ‘chosen ones’ suffer a lot. Life, ‘post awakening’, is supposed to fall in place, or at least, that’s how ‘repeat numbers‘ are written. I feel, sometimes, ‘the higher self may ask individuals to sacrifice desire of the heart’. The ‘repeat numbers’ I read didn’t go into it. This is a situation where your life is more than yours. I wish there was a way to confirm this? If true, my life, still could have been handled differently.
Spirituality offers answers to life questions but they are not always easy. You will have to use your own judgement. Sometimes in life, spirituality and commonsense don't necessarily go together.
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