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Where do I stand after six years of 'spiritual awakening'?

I had ended previous blog on 'When spirituality collides with (presumed) 'free will'' by saying 'day of birth, life path and destiny numbers' define broad parameters of our life! This blog goes further into when universe creates a 'life with the purpose in mind', but, doesn't reveal for decades. You wake up to life's purpose through 'spiritual awakening'. It becomes the 'new path/destiny'. You are told to 'write off an entire life' and start over again. Think of 'past life' as a 'cycle' for lessons learnt and for the soul to grow. You are now ready to pursue your 'destiny' in this 'new cycle of life'.


You wonder why wasn't 'your purpose' revealed to you earlier in life? You'd have then created 'the correct version' of life from the start. The answer comes 'Everything happens @ the right time! Nothing is a chance. Everything happens for a reason (angel message 55!)'



There are times when I struggle with concepts of 'nothing is a chance.... or experiences are arranged @the soul level'. These statements tend to imply 'life gets planned before soul incarnation on earth while human mind is left completely oblivious to it (huge disconnect!)'. Both statements carry lots of wisdom. They make sense based on my own life experience. After having spent close to six years in 'spiritual awakening', my question to the universe is 'does universe expect 'human mind' to figure this out on it's own?' When things don't materialize in life, in spite of, best efforts by the 'human mind', does universe expect 'human brain' to just sit there and take it? Universe says 'thoughts shape reality!' What if the universe were to interject when someone is about to do wrong and change their thoughts so nothing bad happens. Why not do 'awakening' early enough in life and sync human mind to soul's purpose? Clearly, the world needs more 'angels'!



My Life Story!


I was born on March 29th (Aries) with life path and destiny number of '3/3' which shortly after birth changed to '3/9' due to a name change. Aries born on March 29th are very direct, blunt and plain spoken leading them to hot water in various situations of life (https://trustedpsychicmediums.com/march/march-29-zodiac/) (you can read all about it in the 'when spirituality collides with 'free Will' blog!)


Life Path '3' implies 'creative communication and connecting with people'. Destiny '3' means 'to inspire motivate, heal and uplift people' while destiny '9' stands for 'to reach higher state of consciousness and help others achieve this spiritual awareness'. The optimal professions for people with Life Path/Destiny '3/3 or 9' are writer, actor, lightworker or healer https://feliciabender.com/the-destiny-or-expression-number/. Most of the careers listed above suggest financial struggles (unless one happens to become Brad Pitt, George Clooney or John Grisham😁). Destiny '9' people may have to deal with 'Family Enmeshment' issue as well (you can read all about it in the same blog!)


How do I feel after six years of 'awakening?'


It's gone on for too long! It's 'time for change'. Change based on the 'heart and awakening leads to a new path' (road never travelled before!) where I start over, let go of the past and co-create my new reality/destiny working with the universe built around soul's purpose (angel message 22!)

Change based on 'the mind' takes me back to past life where I continue to work on this website while my mind finds a way to support life around it (But, it won't be the same!)


How could this happen where mind just disconnects from it's own heart/soul? It happens to people who follow their heart/soul/intuition an entire life and it leads them to a complete collapse. Their 'faith and trust' in the humanity is badly shaken up. Mind tries to take heart/soul/intuition (consciousness) out of the 'equation of life'. Universe jumps in and explains what's happened? It doesn't help 'the mind'. It takes time before mind begins to understand 'What's happened' but doesn't understand 'Why it happened? or Why life was designed in such a way?' Universe explains that too but is tough act to swallow. Mind begins to wonder if universe is on his side (welcome to the life of destiny '9'person). 'Spiritual Awakening' 'simplifies' complexity by taking back to 'the day we were born with specific life path and destiny numbers'. It provides the necessary tools (& education) for the 'new path'. Why? Because,


(a) You can never give up on 'your heart!'

(b) Universe wants to break 'bad cycle of life!'


'Awakening' explains no good has ever come out by giving up on the 'heart/soul and consciousness'. We've to stay with it and change something else. Refocus mind and co-create the 'new reality based on heart's desires by accomplishing soul's purpose (angel message 111, 1111, 99,99,999 and 9999)' by moving to 'the higher purpose'!



This work (with 100's of 1000's of websites on the 'net' devoted it!) is very interesting and inspiring. It's hard but rewarding work as one tries to share his/her experience of 'spiritual awakening' with the rest of the world. The work comes with it's own set of uncertainties.


Universe conveys it's full support this time with constant display of numeric patterns called 'angel numbers' (11,111, 1111, 22, 222, 33, 333, 44, 444, 55, 555, 66, 666, 77, 777, 88, 888, 99, 999,9999, 123, 234, 345, 456, 310, 510, 710, 711, 420, 1010, 1212 or 1234) under various 'thought patterns' over an extended period of time. It asks mind to develop 'trust and faith' once again. 'Path of the Heart' leads to 'the higher purpose' but not without some hard lessons learnt along the way!


Numerology & Angel Numbers!


Numerology is comprised of digits 0..9. '9' denotes completion of something (end of a cycle) of life and is followed by 1' (a new beginning!). At time of transitioning from '9...1', you thank 'past' for lessons learnt, forgive yourself & others for mistakes made and move on to the 'new beginning' (the purest form!)


To follow one's heart, start over, develop trust and faith once again, is not going to be easy. You'll have to do serious ground (soul searching) work. You'll have to make tough choices. According to psychic Joanne Walmsley 'serving 'divine life (soul) purpose' is not going to be easy. In order to awaken your true life’s purpose you need to be to accept ‘change’. Change may come in the form of a change in consciousness, a change in belief-sets and/or thought-patterns, a distinct career change, a change in lifestyle choices'.


I've written quite extensively on my experience with 'repetitive numeric patterns called angel numbers' and awakening in various blogs and on this website. I don't intend to repeat all of it here, although, I'll start by saying I began to witness repetitive numeric patterns 6 years ago (Nov' 7th, 2017). The numbers haven't stopped appearing except more on certain instances than the others (it all relates to my 'thought pattern and if they are aligned with the universe'). Numbers track my 'thoughts' as they know 'thoughts shape reality and actions have consequences!'


There's a difference when we act 'without understanding thoughts shape reality' and when we actually 'understand thoughts shape reality'. It's when we understand this concept and 'start running thoughts through consciousness before actions, we begin to notice dramatic changes'. It's a simple concept that holds power to change the world in the way we think and interact with each other and consequences of what ensues!


Does this mean by 'controlling our thoughts, we can create our own reality and shape destiny'? I'd say, maybe, 'Yes' ('Fate' is the unknown factor) as long as our thoughts are aligned with the soul, consciousness, inside (chakras) and outside world. This is achieved by running thoughts through the 'consciousness/ higher self'. Soul, universe and chakras all reside within us. If we are at peace with ourselves, we'll @peace with the rest of of the world.


What happens if thoughts get misaligned from the inside and the outside world (the universe)? We may experience 'spiritual awakening' where universe delves into 'course correction and tries to bring us on the right path' that was designed @the time of the birth (This is an extreme example where we end up 'writing off' an entire life and start all over again!) It's going to be 'an unpleasant and painful' experience (you can read all about it in the blog on 'spiritual awakening'). If you can get past it, you'll be rewarded with whole new understanding on the working of the universe. That doesn't mean 'mind' will relinquish it's control and 'accept change' easily. It'll put up a fight and keep coming up with newer options😁


Numerology of 'The Name Change!'


There are various views on the 'net' as to the effect of name change on the destiny of a person? They range anywhere from 'none' to 'minor expression number (destiny)' to 'we need to look @both, current as well as name of @birth' in order to calculate correct destiny of the person. I believe in the last.



Spiritual Awakening & Lightwork!


Although my 'spiritual awakening' began on Nov 7th, 2017, I've felt presence of some outside force throughout in my life. For example, I was doing fine @ my job in New England years ago. I had just begun a relationship with my thoughts perfectly aligned with the heart when suddenly things went wrong and I ended up moving to California. Neither my heart nor my mind desired a change. A cosmic intervention manifested a 'detour' in my life. It led to the misalignment of the heart from the mind while 'Family Enmeshment' continued. I tried to fix misalignment by moving back to New England 4 years later but found myself struggling in career. Just as I was about to get things together a decade later, again, an intervention followed. I, not only, ended up losing my job but also relationship as predicted by a 'palm reader' at an early stage of my life while 'Family Enmeshment' stayed the same.


This broke my spirit and threw me into deep depression. It was as if someone had ripped my inside and left me with no energy. It took years before I decided it was time for me to move back to California and get a fresh start. This is when I experienced 'awakening' (an intervention) which pointed to an 'end of cycle and start of new on a new path' as I continue to stay in New England. My spirit was restored and depression cured due to constant inflow of positive thoughts through use of repetitive numbers. Continue to stay in New England was confusing to my mind as I had spent a significant part of my life here with no real success. When people want 'fresh start', they move to a new place. Why was I being asked to continue in New England? Because, New England is what my heart had desired from the start. Move to CA was a misalignment. 'Numeric patterns' being 'angel numbers' will always converge towards 'the heart!'


It's not uncommon for people with 'Life Path 3' to experience depression in lifetime. They have problem with focus & choosing the right career.



'Focus & right career' were never my problems. I am highly focused when I want something. For example, although something had moved me to CA so that 'FE' could continue, I quit my six figure job and relocated back to New England within 4 years searching for a 'balanced life'. I didn't give into the materialism of Silicon Valley. Universe should have sensed it and rewarded me with change of 'Fate'. Similarly, I thought I had found the right career (Product Management in high tech companies).


My career was cut short for reasons explained below and old soul/ life path/destiny numbers as 'Fate' continued to remain 'the same'



I should not have had career issues as I, without any 'awakening', had followed my heart/soul/ intuition. My thoughts should have created my reality but there are always exceptions to the rules. The reasons of which are easily understood with 'Fate, Family Enmeshment and/or spiritual/old soul', life path/ destiny '3/9'. 'FE' is a destiny '9' issue and needs to be handled as explained by Felicia



I still had some unfinished business ('breakup', loss of career, 'end of cycle') to settle with 'Fate'. 'Fate' was not yet ready to let me go 'free'.


Clearly, there's this huge disconnect between 'how my mind thought of this life' versus 'how universe imagined it through defined parameters of day of birth, life path and destiny numbers'😀


According to 'angel message 666', if mind gets misaligned from the heart, the person will have to 'start over' or live life devoid of any inspiration, excitement or motivation. Being 'angel messages', they direct person towards 'the heart'. Why? Because, only, when we accomplish heart's desires, we'll find happiness. We'll, then, be able to accomplish soul's 'higher purpose'😁


Solution to 'Family Enmeshment' and other challenges of my life lay in the 'old soul'. It not only provides ability to forgive (myself and others) but also 'path to a new life!'



Destiny '9' implies 'spiritual path/ lightwork'. Bethany in article on 'lightwork' under 'purpose of life' section mentions 'Lightwork' requires people to understand 'Lightwork' before they can do it. How'll you know 'pain' without experiencing it? How will the person understand 'suffering' without going through it? How'll he/she know 'darkness' without actually walking in it😁


When you are an 'Aries with Life Path 3', you debate things for forever! 'Self doubt' is a big issue. You are asked to let go of it.



(My take: People develop doubts when things don't go their way besides best efforts. This can be result of not being aligned properly on the inside with mind/ heart being out of sync)


Universe responds back with 'angel message 234' to 'be more creative and take risks since life path '3' is all about creativity'!




Final thoughts!


In numerology, everything is reduced to a single digit unless it's 11 or 22. They are considered master numbers and carry higher goals. For example, my day of birth 29 = 2 + 9 = 11. 11 is considered a 'highly spiritual number'. According to Hans Decoz in the book 'Numerology: The Key to your Inner Self', day of birth indicates some special talent you possess. It's a 'gift to you' that will help you along your life's path. According to the book 'day 29' forecast, 'look for ways to help others and convey larger of message of harmony and insight with which you were blessed'.


Day of Birth <-----> Life Path -----> Destiny


My life path and destiny numbers imply 'service to humanity' (I've compiled a list of day of birth, life path and destiny numbers under 'purpose of life' section on this website).


Bethany in her article on Lightwork on this website describes 11 types lightworkers. One of them called 'messengers' see numeric patterns. In numerology, '9 means spiritual path' while my day of birth 29 = 2+9= 11 = 'balance, harmony, awakening and being spiritual'. My destiny of '9' refers to an 'awakening' during lifetime and it's teachings as the 'purpose of life'. This, in turn, implies end a cycle of life (9) and beginning of the new (1) on the 'new path'. New path can be a 'spiritual path'. It explains reason behind 'the look on the face of the palm reader' during my undergrad long time ago🙄It's amazing to see amount of information that can be realized just by looking @'date of birth' and 'names)'!


As part of 'awakening', I researched various articles on the 'net' like 'balancing chakras, life path, destiny numbers, Lightwork & higher purpose of life'. Initially, it felt as though I had done everything wrong in the life. Six years later, I feel differently. I, as human, had done everything the correct way. It just that universe had different plan. I've even looked at my 'karmic debt'. It equates to 'zero'. I wonder if universe had intentionally caused misalignment of the heart from my mind with initial move to California so that when I've 'reset through awakening', I'll be able to interpret these messages and reach my destiny of '9'! The other part being continuation of 'FE' issue!


If cosmic intervention hadn't sent me to CA, I'd have built life in New England, ended 'FE' and had a different 'Fate'. Downside: I wouldn't have learnt the lessons to do 'lightwork for destiny 9'?🙄


According to Dimitry in the 'cycles of life' article on this website, human life is measured in 7 (7 year) cycles. 'New life' begins at the end of 7th cycle. End of the 7th cycle also marks the 'end of spiritual cycle'. I wonder if my 'soul' wanted me to learn certain lessons before 'spiritual awakening'? In numerology, '5' stands for 'learning lessons the hard way through life experiences and making positive life choices'.


According to Charlotte Kirsten (https://typicallytopical.com/spiritual-awakening-signs-symptoms/) ,'Spiritual Awakening' has multiple stages to it. She talks about 7 stages. Each stage can last 3-6 months. Six years of 'Spiritual Awakening' combined with lost time before has cost me a big part of my life. It's time to 'turn this life' around!


Sometimes, I wonder if Hans 'day 29' forecast of 'look for ways to help others and convey larger of message of harmony and insight with which you were blessed', life path '3 = creative communication and connecting with people' and destiny '3/9 = inspire, motivate, heal and uplift people/ to reach higher state of consciousness and help others achieve this spiritual awareness' combined with 'awakening' define the 'purpose of my life' then what was I doing all my life getting bachelor's in physics, master's in computer science, traveling to US for higher studies, move to silicon valley from Boston, back to Boston, build career in high tech product development and get into relationship to build a 'normal life'?


I can say through personal experience 'spiritual awakening is not going to be easy not only for what's revealed to you but also in terms of what you're called to do'. Your whole life feels like a game of chess. Spirituality is a world in it's own. If you delve too much into it, it'll free you up from everything in the 'material world' and show a completely 'new way' to live your life. While 'mind' works with 'reactionary' mode, 'spirituality' provides answers @higher plane. It shows 'path' to transform lives, yours and that of others, based on the higher spiritual principles. In other words, 'Forget everything you think you know'😀



'The longest journey is the journey to find yourself' is a quote by Katharine Sharp. Swedish diplomat and author Dag Hammarskjold also said, 'the longest journey is the journey inward'. He believed that self-discovery is a journey that takes time and must be approached thoroughly. The Sioux believed that the longest journey is from the head to the heart. This is the longest spiritual journey and is considered a pilgrimage of prayer. The heart is thought of as emotional, but it is also deeply spiritual. Universe will tell you 'Life is what you create. It's an extension of yourself'. Sometimes 'finding yourself' is the longest journey you take as mentioned above. It's when you 'find yourself', you can then create the life of your dreams and become happy!


'Awakening' is when the universe reveals it's hand and asks for your next move😀



As part of 'awakening', I learnt, 'thoughts shape reality' & 'experiences are arranged @the soul level before incarnation'. Clearly, humans have work cut out on 'thoughts shape reality' part. But, what if, universe decides 'to program' only good experiences into the lives of humans? Good experiences will translate into good thoughts and good thoughts into a better reality!


While pursuing MS in Physics, I'd to take classes in solid sate physics, electro-magnetic theory, quantum mechanics, electronics etc. I found 'quantum mechanics' to be the hardest because of the 'complexity in solving math theorems involving loops within the loops'. It was a mind blowing experience. Looking @astrology and numerology, I must say 'loops created by the universe are the hardest. You could loose your entire life without understanding cause of anything'. I remember saying this to myself @the start of 'awakening' while holding down my head, 'I don't understand this. It's loops within the loops'. 'Awakening' while mind shattering experience is a good exercise for the human brain'😁


My life, so far, has gone according to parameters as defined by the universe and not the way I planned/imagined it. Psychics will tell you to 'surrender' and align yourself with the universe. In my experience when universe points to a 'fresh start' with '1' but 'human mind' fails to follow through with it (for any number of reasons!), human will find settling on a non-optimal path (/life). Will 'Universe' see 'noncompliance as bad karma' punishable in this or the next life? That's not to say options offered by the universe are any easier!😀


What happened to me over the last decade with the loss of job/career, breakup, betrayal by the loved ones, depression, spiritual awakening etc. has nothing to do with New England or anyone in particular. This is my 'Fate' doing it's job (I've discussed it in 'Destiny/Fate' and other blogs like 'When spirituality collides with (presumed) 'Free Will'' etc.) This would have happened to me in any place around the world. I understand, as part of 'destiny 9', I'll see lots of closures (my soul is here to wrap things up) throughout in my life. 'End of cycle' is part of it.


Angel Number 55,710,420, 999, 1111 are some of the messages I see quite often.


While numeric pattern '55' talks about living life as 'spiritual being', '710' talks about using 'soul' to create new reality. Pattern '420' is all about creating 'heart based service'. 999 and 1111 are about completion of a cycle and beginning of the new.


Making mistakes is part of life. That's how the soul grows. Just like a quarterback who throws an interception from time to time but doesn't let interceptions define his career/ life, you learn from your mistakes and move on like the rest of us😀



The biggest mistake is when we hold on to the 'past mistakes' for too long.


Destiny '9' is a 'humanitarian/ spiritual path'! According to the Hans in the book 'Numerology: the key to your inner self'..... 'From time to time, destiny '9' find yourself involved in a project whose very life depends upon your willingness to sacrifice something that relates directly to your ego! 🙏








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I am the founder of 'divine soulpurpose.com'. I am a 'spiritually awakened soul' on mission to help others achieve this 'higher state of consciousness'.

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